herlilith

herlilith @ 2002-10-21T23:28:00

2002-10-22T06:30:20Z

I'm done with this journal. The fact that I can't be completely anonymous (with the exception of my girls whom I don't mind reading it). Among other things.

So this is the last post. Buh-bye : )

Decompression 02

2002-10-22T00:01:10Z

The hippocampus, one of my favorite art installations that was the playa this year.

The cathedral car!!! I think Marianna and I spent a good ten minutes drooling over it.

Fire car.

Shot from the overpass.

Fire flower.

Oh the tragedy!

Marianna and a geisha girly.

On the overpass.

EL wire squid and jellyfish.

The back of the cathedral car.

Stilt man.

Even burners need love. Mike and Marianna.

herlilith @ 2002-10-19T19:58:00

2002-10-20T02:55:32Z

We made our head gear today. Check it out. Dave took these when we went to go harass Dolly at his apartment. We're black metal!! We're also going to be wearing these tomorrow at Decompression, even though its pretty much a guarantee no one will get it : (

Marianna and I (plus fake hair).

My frame is here but the mind is gone.

2002-10-19T05:47:02Z

I was momentarily repulsed today when I discovered someone had surrendered to their patheticism in the most unappealing way. Darling, if you ever figure out that I'm writing about you...you made me want to vomit and laugh simultaneously today. Not the most immature thing I've ever said, but close enough.

Maya, Juhnae and I had an early evening after Marianna and Mike came by to help me with the move. I love my room although I'm seemingly stuck with two ugly couches. So, yes, its barely ten and I'm in for the night. Not bitter, just......tired. I had fun seeing my ladies, its not very often that just the three of us have gotten to spend time together. Maya leaves for Sydney in a year and she's going to move back to Sacramento soon. We'll have to make the best of that since she'll be gone for who knows how long. Australia isn't exactly an hour's drive from here.

Tomorrow afternoon, Marianna and I are going shopping for our Halloween headpieces. Maya mentioned she was having a get-together for Halloween at her place (on Halloween). It also got me to thinking about well, things that I've been rolling around inside my skull for the past day or two. It would be so perfect if the person in mind wasn't so frigid. Unfortuantely, they are. Grrr...should not be thinking like that anyway.

Ok, done being vague. Good night.

Tactless bitch cult

2002-10-18T18:09:55Z

Finally spoke with Claudia about AAGRO. I think she was a little taken aback when I said, "Call me if you need ANYTHING." I like surprising people with good news. Unfortunately this weekend is bad timing as far as certain fundraisers for that go. I have a date with Juhnae Saturday day/evening and Sunday is Decompression.

I also got my sinus appointment today for 5pm.
"How long have you been experiencing these symptoms?"
"My whole life.."
"You mean sporadically?"
"I mean my ENTIRE life."
"Oh. So you have itchy watery eyes, congestion, sinus pressure..."
"Mhmm.."
"..sinus infection.."

Receptionists can be so dense. I don't know how many times I said NO to sinus infection. Its completely different. Well, whatever...as long as I get an appointment today.

Hopefully Marianna calls me back today. I'm moving all my things into my new room. Lots of heavy things, yay. And I don't know if Maya and I are going out to San Francisco tonight but even if we go out in Sacramento thats just fine. Of course I love hanging out with you, what kind of concern is that!

herlilith @ 2002-10-17T21:03:00

2002-10-18T04:09:23Z

Ok, I lied. I painted today, It was great. Its been...ohh...6+ months? I find that incredibly sad, but I'm not myself lately either. Its to be expected. But yay! Painting!

serious painting face.

right now its kinda like pictionary..

herlilith @ 2002-10-16T23:48:00

2002-10-17T06:54:34Z

I almost completely forgot about Decompression being this Sunday. I had grand plans to paint tomorrow. ehh. Friday.

I think Gotherella needs a cigarette... no?

o true apothecary thy drugs are quick

2002-10-16T00:18:23Z

Ohhhh the interview was amazing. I've never been so giddy during one before. It was obvious I was completely into what I was being asked about. The best part was when I presented my two piece portfolio (they asked for one piece, I gave them two). The panel of three interviewers leaned over the table all at once..silence...and then simultaneously began asking me questions. It was like a movie. Its so odd..for once I didn't have to bullshit one single thing. Now THAT is validation baby! If they don't hire me, they are stupid.

Oh Juhnae thanks for the note. I emailed whomevers email is aagro_sac@yahoo.com and said I'd be submitting work and possibly be interested in volunteering for the event (Female Art Showcase and Female Directed Short Film Festival). It sounds fantastic!

If anyone is interested:
http://www.aagro.org/diadelosmuertos.htm

herlilith @ 2002-10-14T21:58:00

2002-10-15T05:02:47Z

I'm still angry..or atleast irritated. I jumped the gun on one thing, definitely, and that was giving up those lovely blue pills this past January. When you get out of a relationship you feel the need to tell everything to fuck off, that you can be different and better. I did alright with everything but the medication. That I need. Its not a crutch, but it does keep me level headed. Irritability is a sign of anxiety...apart from the anxiety itself. Hmmm...making a phonecall tomorrow...

Anyway, Gabe came by and we did the "thing". I now have a mini-portfolio for tomorrow. God, I hope I get the job.

I bought some mix today for apple martinis. They are heavenly.

oh baby..

2002-10-14T06:20:40Z

herlilith @ 2002-10-13T15:43:00

2002-10-13T22:43:54Z

I just made this quiz.

Which Liv Tyler character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ain't that right, baby?

2002-10-13T20:03:11Z

Yesterday evening was a complete oddity. Maya and I had made plans the previous night to go out for a bit after she got off from work. She called around 8pm to say that her and her sister were going to the comedy jam and she'd give me a call after that, which was completely fine since I was engrossed in a movie at that same time.

Ten-ish my phone rings. The timing was perfection. We go downtown to the Monkey Bar. Maya and I had been trying to get a hold of atleast someone that evening to come out with us and to no avail. Then, as we sat in the outdoor area, two cosmos later I get the incredibly bright and random idea to call Andy. I have not spoken to Andy since the last Tool show that he so kindly paid my way for. In my mind, not only am I a bitch but a tactless one because I did end up calling him. Luckily he wasn't upset with me, not only that but he agreed to meet Maya and I at Monkey Bar since he was practically right down the street. He came with someone from his work whose name escapes me now. From there we went to the Press Club and I wish I'd remembered Andy's friend's name because he was nice enough to buy us drinks.

I'd been trying to call Ken earlier that evening but every time I call he's busy. Apparently last night he was at a party. But, he did call later on and we stopped by for a bit to bother him and his friends with our cigarette fiending. We left to go see Brian who called asking us to drop by his wherehouse space. We drove around at 4am with him looking for this supposed Burning Man deal off Del Paso, which we came to find out had been and gone probably hours before.

I'm very surprised I didn't sleep until 5pm today. Whats more is next Friday Maya and I have a deal to do this all over again...in SF...enter tragic music. Yay!

yesterday evening

2002-10-12T22:10:57Z

Gabe. Amber.

Hi.

Marianna. Mike. Pat.

Matt.

Maya. Marianna. Mike.

Sam. Maya.

H-ween

2002-10-12T02:21:38Z

Year before last I went as a Cradle of Filth Girl. Maya was the weed faery which was easy enough to compile a costume for (she even wore it the entire day and to class!) My costume, however, had no real guidelines? for wearing. This made it incredibly hard to um...create. I wanted to dress as the girls from the Supreme Vampyric Evil poster but hmm...well, they're practically naked.

Anyway, the costume was good but didn't turn out as I'd really wanted it to. I have a point here! I've decided that this year, I'm going all out. I'm going to be a CoF girl again but be so kickass I'll make children shit their costumes. I have the dress (medieval gown as I wore the year before last. All I need to do is get a long black wig with bangs and make a killer head-piece deal..ohh and the blood.

I'm so excited!

Don't know what a 'Cradle of Filth Girl' is?

Something like that..Its really difficult to find pictures of just the girls.

herlilith @ 2002-10-11T14:55:00

2002-10-11T21:58:48Z

I stumbled across this:
http://www.geocities.com/knicks5033/

I was looking for sites on Susan Minot, as I do from time to time. My day actually got better. Whoever made this is my hero for today. I definitely think Susan Minot's work should be made into a visual experience again (though Stealing Beauty was slightly cheating since it was not originally her story). So, hopefully. You can read more about her here, http://www.randomhouse.com/boldtype/1098/minot/interview.html.

BT: What's next for Susan Minot?

SM: I am currently working on a screen adaptation of Evening for Kennedy/Marshall at Disney. I have a collection of short stories about three-quarters done--stories I've been writing in between the novels and scripts. I have started on a book about a young man in search of his soul, tentatively called My Life with No One.

herlilith @ 2002-10-10T18:20:00

2002-10-11T01:24:20Z

I finally got to see Chris' new apartment. Its been so nice seeing him, Jeremy and Cindy lately. Finally meeting Justin and Amber (who apparently have known Chris since they were thirteen...how we never met? No clue) Not to mention last night during "phone pass" I even heard from Bill. I don't really remember speaking that much to Bill in the past. He tells amazing and crazy stories. You don't really speak with him, you just listen. But last night he asked me about San Francisco and how I was. We left just as Ian and his girly were arriving. Everything just felt really nice.

I'm such a sucker for romantic films. Sweet Home Alabama was so good. Not to mention the preview for Maid in Manhattan with Ralph Fiennes and....J.Lo?? Marianna and I have decided to stalk Ralph Fiennes and Edward Burns in their respective areas of residence...while seeing the sights of course.

Meet hot women in your area.

2002-10-09T00:40:44Z

I finally got a call for the job I wanted. Graphic Design. So, from now until next Tuesday I have to dig through a million and a half zip disks and pick what I want to bring to the interview. This entails going to Kinko's (unless anyone has an amazing printer and a zip drive?). I loathe public places like that. Most Americans have a little problem that gets under my skin. Its called staring. Hi, yes...this is none of your business, fuck off.

I can't wait to sign up for Spring classes. I finally got a shelf for the bathroom. I have entirely too many bathroom products and such and absolutely no storage space. Halloween is looming and that makes me feel really old. I feel old because this is the first year in my twenty-one years of existance that its almost mid-October and I have no idea what I'm going as. I don't even have anything I could throw on and pretend to be, a la last-minute-costume. Wellll....maybe. Other than that making me feel old and boring, I'm not sure how else to feel about it.

herlilith @ 2002-10-07T21:23:00

2002-10-08T04:26:43Z

Tool (with Meshuggah)
Saturday November 23, 2002
Reno NV
US Lawlor Event Center

Twice in one year, but well worth it.

herlilith @ 2002-10-07T11:04:00

2002-10-07T18:13:14Z

Some people never change. Its a redundant statement but it certainly fits the situation at hand. Strangely, at the same time, its so much like me. I tend to form opinions rather quickly when I'm happy, without giving a situation time. Time to peel back the layers and see something as it really is.

herlilith @ 2002-10-06T20:04:00

2002-10-07T03:02:40Z

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing ...
I said nothing can take away these blues,
'Cause nothing compares ...
Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor guess what he told me
Guess what he told me?
He said, girl, you better have fun
No matter what you do
But he's a fool ...
'Cause nothing compares ...
Nothing compares to you ...

All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
'Cause nothing compares ...
Nothing compares to you ...

It all just came back to me for a second.
Oh--newsflash. I caved. My hair is now black.

herlilith @ 2002-10-06T17:05:00

2002-10-07T00:22:15Z

Last night after dinner we met up with Maya's coherts and went to Jayn'Bee. Aside from the *67 incident which amused the hell of out me much more than it should have, one of the best moments of the evening was when Isais and Eric met. Isais is one of the most amazing guys I've met through Maya. He's your typical hip-hop kid without the ridiculous habit of using the stereotypical lingo. Eric is a tall thin caucasian male who adores knives and freakish things. Last night they met. Isais says to him, "Hey, whats up," and Eric might as well have said, "Whats up, dood". I couldn't help but tease Eric for a good fifteen minutes after that. He was somewhat out of his element though not completely ostracized.

I don't like this feeling of desperately needing to purchase alcohol even though I have no intention of drinking it. My Dad bought me a beer the other day at the Fall Festival. Before I knew it I was blabbering on and on about the most ass-backwards things to (and with) my father. It was very unnerving at first, we never really just talk. Then, it was just nice. I think after twenty-one years of oddness between us, something broke. All it took was my twenty-first birthday passing and him buying his low-tolerance daughter a glass of amber ale. How appropriately fucked up. I love it.

I got hoes in different area codes.

2002-10-06T10:56:32Z

On the way up to SF tonight I was completely giddy. I haven't been in the city since I moved in April. I was even thinking I'd made a mistake in leaving. Later on, I was relieved to know that right now its better that I'm in Sacramento. I love large cities, but I no longer feel the love I once had for this one. Conversation took a momentarily negative turn tonight back at Maya's. Stories that just were anything but happy. People we used to know. I love anxiety.

Trouble loves me, trouble needs me...two things more than you do.

2002-10-05T18:11:59Z

I'm not surprised I didn't come home completely unconcious. As with my eighteenth birthday (I bought cigarettes legally and was questioned, 'So you just decided to pick up the habit today?'), I'd had plenty of experience beforehand. I didn't even begin as heavily until after High School, if you can imagine that with all the stories. Anyway, everything was perfect and then there's still tonight. I'm face painting at two-ish at my sisters' school downtown. I think I'm more ready for being in a completely different city tonight and eating good food (unfortunately, not Foreign Cinema..). Fifteen girls running rampant in San Francisco, I think it was foreshadowed last night when Maya was referred to as 'trouble'.

PS, thanks Mike for calling and wishing you could have been. You still have a chance! Its only a six hour drive! : )

herlilith @ 2002-10-04T14:03:00

2002-10-04T21:11:22Z

Are you ever just so overwhelmed by meeting someone and the conversation you have with them that you forget to say certain things or there is just so much you want to say? I don't like going home with the feeling of things being obscenely wide open. I don't feel as though I've said too much, for once. For once, I wasn't the only one. I kept laughing. You sound like me yet have the audacity to actually voice it all in public. That's great, even if its completely circumstantial. I'm impressed.

Clean as a whistle
Smellin' like a rose
She got no dirty little fingers
Bloodshot eyes are gone

Tell me I'm wrong

Twice as Hard
As it was the first time
I said goodbye

And no one ever wanna' know
Love ain't funny
A crime in the wink of an eye

Your sister always singing
She play the step child
A broken little memory
Her heart was never kind

Tell me I'm blind

Yeah, bloodshot eyes are gone
Tell me I'm wrong

Ralph Fiennes

2002-10-03T23:54:36Z

(We've been recently introduced)
Hopefully we'll catch Red Dragon tonight at midnight.
Feeling much better.

I'm studying for my license. I'm such a child. Probably the only 21-year-old sans a drivers license. The studying is not in vain, I AM GETTING a vehicle as soon as I pass my tests, etc. I was being devastingly unfaithful to my Camaro. The other day I saw a 1982 BMW 735i Euro model. Grrr. I really do still want a Camaro though, I think I'm just getting excited about driving soon.

Check out the beauty.